Deserve Victory

starksexual:

i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it

(via teeenage-criimee)

bm13:

salmiakkivodka:

If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex

But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage

But homosexuality is bad

I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with

Since there’re so many songs talking about having sex with bitches and hoes, I just assumed they meant female dogs and gardening tools

(via blackwonderland)

jaseherondale:

childrapist666:

edwad:

jaseherondale:

Did you know that in Australia it’s five times more likely that you’ll pick a partner based on humour rather than looks so if you’re ugly but a hilarious motherfucker then you’re almost guaranteed love

yea but have u ever seen an ugly australian

i am waiting for an ugly australian to add their selfie to this post pls do it is beckoning you to tumblr fame

(via blackwonderland)

What I think when kids in my class read

• That’s a PERIOD, NOT A COMMA
• That’s a COMMA, NOT A PERIOD
• Why the hell can’t you pronounce that word?
• THE TEACHER JUST CORRECTED YOU WHY’D YOU GET IT WRONG AGAIN?!?!?!
• Can I sleep?
• If you can’t read, why’d you raise your hand?
• You can’t pronounce THAT word?
• WHAT THE HELL
• The fuck you like long ass paragraphs for
• My skin’s crawling
• Oh god not him, his voice sounds like a dying nail on a dying chalkboard
• You skipped a line
• LOL what was that?
• I don’t even. 

(Source: youcanbethecaptain, via pizza)

musicbeatstherapy:

jelee-:

rockpapertheodore:

tinyspacebabe:

ok let’s stop using the term “butthurt” we’re not 12 anymore

you sound fannytroubled

a little bootybothered if you ask me

someone’s having a little tushytantrum

(via pizza)

too-many-fandoms-for-url:

Bilbo Baggins: the only guy to ever read the terms and conditions

(Source: muchadoabouttateandtennant, via itscandidlycara)

it scares me that you never know what someone is thinking or feeling towards you and everything that they say could be one massive lie

(Source: wh1rring, via teeenage-criimee)